There’s a special bond daughters share with their fathers. This bond has a unique way of helping shape how these ladies treat themselves and interact with the world. To his daughters, a father becomes the benchmark of what a man should and shouldn’t be. How he treats women becomes a lesson to his daughters on how they expect to be treated. Not all fathers are as demonstrative as mothers, but they show their love for their daughters in their own quiet and selfless ways.
Lessons from Dad on Being a Woman
Martine de Luna, founder of Make It Blissful, shares that her father’s teachings helped her become a woman of strength. “My Papa has always taught me to be unapologetic for my beliefs and principles, and that women can be equally successful as men.”
Martine and her father, on her wedding day
Camille Depano, author of the bestselling book “#HUGOT: Understanding the Misunderstood”, says that her father taught her to “be the best version of myself and that I’m worth the wait because I am loved.”
Even if she grew up with her father overseas, Esmy Abarabar shares that her father still taught her to be a woman of confidence. “This has instilled in me the value of perseverance, hard-work, and love for family. On being a woman, my Papa has taught me never to be intimidated nor feel inferior to men. If anything men and women complement each other. By always asking me what I can say about issues or things, he was in fact encouraging me to think on my feet. Through the years, these conversations and how we would often burst out laughing serve as our bonding moments which I always treasure especially now that we’re halfway across the globe.”
Esmy Abarabar with her father, on Graduation Day
“My dad taught me that being a woman was no excuse to be weak,” Kim Patrocinio, stylist behind Kimpossible Transformations says. “He taught me how to be independent, to be headstrong, to be resilient and to be decisive. I am his firstborn so he taught me to be a leader and a role model to my siblings. He always told me that I need to be assertive about what I want and to be smart in my choices because that could spell the difference between sleeping on the floor and sleeping on a luxurious bed when I get older! Honestly, I didn’t think I needed a man because of what he taught me.”
How Dad made an impact on relationships
Maxine Ignacio, a 21-year-old Theater major, shares how she learned from her father’s traditional values. “My dad is a bit old fashioned and showing of PDA in front of family members is a big no-no. Holding hands is acceptable but more than that is taboo. I really appreciate that he taught me this because in today’s day and age, many teens and young adults do not care about over-PDA. I understand that this is to protect my own and my partner’s image.”
Maxine Ignacio and her father
“My father always told me to look for a man that will respect and take care of me,” shares Eina Garrido, aspiring yogi and PAWS advocate. “Over the years I’ve had hits and misses with men because I was too excited to get into relationships and possibly because I was naive back then. As I grew older and wiser, I kept in mind my father’s values and this helped me find the man I am now with. I sometimes believe that when it comes to finding a man, you tend to look for a little bit of your father in them to know for sure you’ve made the right choice.”
Martine shares her father led by example. “He has always shown us by his example how to be a protector and a provider in a relationship. And so, my husband and my brothers are very doting, protective yet supportive husbands.”
Camille Depano and her father
“Love will come in God’s time, he always reminding me of this,” Camille says of how her father has shaped her view of relationships. “My father’s love is so abundant that I don’t search for a man to love but then, I realized that I want a man like my father who is responsible, caring, loving, generous and will protect me and will let me feel that I am safe.”
Kim Patrocinio and her father
“He taught me to love with all my heart, but to choose my partner wisely,” Kim shares.
Passing on Dad’s teachings to future kids
Her father’s teachings on patience is what Eina would love to pass on to her future kids. “Always be patient, understanding and disciplined. Patience helps you with your composure, being understanding makes you more open to any situation and discipline keeps you always in check with your goals and passions.”
“Work hard and be grateful for any work that you are blessed to have,” shares Martine of what teachings of her Dad she would pass on to her children. “Don’t take opportunities for granted.”
For Maxine, it would be the theme of honesty she would pass on. “Above anything else, my Dad valued honesty the most and this is something that I want to teach my future kids. I have always been the type to ask permission before doing something or going somewhere. When I would ask to go to a party, I made it a point to give the EXACT details. Where is it going to be held, who will I be with, what time is it, how will I get there, how will I go home, how much money will I be needing, etc. There came a point when I would just list down the details in this format so that he would not have any other questions. I have always been honest with my parents but of course there are times when I would tell a white lie. Hindi naman palagi. Hindi ako pasaway! Teaching me to be honest and responsible has shaped how I am today.”
Dad’s show of love: Acts of Service
“My Papa’s love language is in service,” Martine says. “He reminds me of that Dad in the latest Globe commercial, actually. Even today, he will drive me where I need to go! He supports out businesses, and shows how proud he is about my successes.”
Camille shares the same thoughts about her father’s show of love. “His love language is service. He’s our master chef, he cooks delicious food, super generous (good provider), a strong and courageous man (I always feel safe when I’m with him), He loves my mother very much, so seeing that everyday, I feel more loved.”
Eina Garrido and her father
“My dad is not very vocal but I believe actions speak louder than words,” says Eina. “He is very understanding and forgiving, he still brings me to work, cooks for me, provides for me and involves me in activities important to him. He makes an effort to understand my interests and makes it a point to remember my favorite things so when the time comes for surprises, he is always on point.”
Maxine shares her Dad is not as demonstrative but she still feels his love. “He shows his love by buying me pasalubong every now and then, by bringing and fetching me from school or gimiks when he can, and by teasing me. He’s not very affectionate when it comes to words and physical touch but he definitely shows his love through the little things.”
A different bond between fathers and daughters
“I think daughters know how to love on their dads in ways that sons never will,” Martine says. There is a “darling” kind of appeal, with how my dad views me. I am not a “daddy’s girl” in the superficial sense, but I know he is deeply proud of me as a daughter.
“The bond between mom-daughter is different between dad-daughter. In my case, the mom-daughter bond is the more kulit and lambing kind,” Maxine explains. “Moms usually teach their daughters about day-to-day lessons while the dad-daughter bond is more for life lessons and wisdom. The things that my dad has taught me has more to do with how to become a responsible adult and how to relate with others. How to succeed in life and make a mark in your field of work.”
Eina sums up the magical bond fathers and daughters share. “I choose to believe that every little girl’s hero is their father. Dads just have an enchanting approach when it comes to their daughters.”